It's hard to believe, but I started in the mailroom.

Endlich ohne Schuldgefühle Socken verschenken! Jetzt gibt es Männersocken aus dem Hause Blue Q über die Mann sich freut und...

See what we did there? 

Endlich ohne Schuldgefühle Socken verschenken! Jetzt gibt es Männersocken aus dem Hause Blue Q über die Mann sich freut und ohne Augenverdrehen...

I usually do the dishes. I almost always put the seat down. I only forgot our anniversary once! Ok, twice. 

Endlich ohne Schuldgefühle Socken verschenken! Jetzt gibt es...

Maybe it's a warning, maybe it's a statement of fact. Whatever it is, it's pink and cute and a damn near perfect match for your kitchen. Super-insulated.

Kommen die Schwiegereltern zu...

Watch out, guys! This man's got a pan and he's not afraid to use it. Or, at least, if he is, he's not letting on. Super-insulated.

Kommen die Schwiegereltern zu Besuch? Oder die...

Mommy loves you. She loves you more when you're at summer camp. But either way, she loves you. Super-insulated.

Kommen die Schwiegereltern zu Besuch? Oder die besten Freunde?
...

It's dinner time when I say it's dinner time! What? Does it look like I have three sets of arms or something?! Super-insulated.

Kommen die Schwiegereltern zu Besuch? Oder die besten...

Of course it's delicious - you made it! Why? Does someone dare doubt your culinary prowess? Want me to beat them up? Super-insulated.

Kommen die Schwiegereltern zu Besuch? Oder die...

Future generations will have figured out a way to grow bottles of wine - glass, cork and all - right on a vine. And they'll look back at us and be like, man, those people were so underdeveloped!...

Sorry, did that sound like a threat? What I meant was that you'd be reallllllly sorry if you didn't take a slice. Super-insulated.

Kommen die Schwiegereltern zu Besuch? Oder die...

Look at you! Taking notes, making jokes, distracting us from the mundane reality of the workplace. You're so cool!

Endlich ohne Schuldgefühle Socken verschenken! Jetzt gibt es...

Money can't buy beards, but it sure as hell can buy a pair of socks!

Endlich ohne Schuldgefühle Socken verschenken! Jetzt gibt es Männersocken aus dem Hause Blue Q über die Mann sich...

Remember that one time you told me to: just relax? Well, it definitely helped me relax. I'm SO relaxed right now. Like, I couldn't possibly be more relaxed. And it's all thanks to you. You're...

It's hard for me to relate to these socks because I love my job, for real. But I've definitely had jobs that I didn't love, and purple is my favorite, so I feel totally comfortable recommending...